so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize