I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
