life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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