she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize