I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
vagina is talking i cant
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
