I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
