Having a random hookup so left but love u
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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