i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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