If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize