Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
