We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
