what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
i think we sleep fucked last night...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
