the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
