My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
