DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
