she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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