no, he came in my armpit
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
