Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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