Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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