You can't special order awesome
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
