Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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