Me. At least after what I've been through.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
