If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize