I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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