Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
