shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
