Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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