I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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