well you can't waste a boner
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Your penis caused this!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
