In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
