You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
