Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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