i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
