Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize