No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
