she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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