K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize