No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
