my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
