Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
