They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
