fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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