my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
