My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
where am i from again
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
