and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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