is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
