The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
