I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize