i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Operation Purity has been aborted
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
