listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
