Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
