there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
