Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
