So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
