just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
