then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
