is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
