do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize