Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
