he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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