who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
MIDGETS
????
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
