I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
