And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
