We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
