What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize