i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize