did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
