Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
