I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
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