I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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